recently, friends have postulated that i might not survive my china trip. amongst various reasons are the severe diarrhea risks from - it was reported - soya sauce made from hair. hair. whatever made the chinese think that similarity constitutes substitutability? eating pigs' brains do not add to human brains, and although we often call soya sauce black sauce, colour is really not the only criterion to the definition.
besides diarrhea, it has been suggested by my aunt that i will get lost. i do admit that i have a tendency to look at the map of china and plan transportation thinking that just because the distance from A to B is less than the length of my pinky, it shouldn't take too long to cover. (we initially thought to go to tibet, a few cm away from beijing, but apparently it's a 3 day train ride.)
i also have a tendency to speak my mind, and my mind often - traitorously, i say - thinks derogatory thoughts about the china chinese. and because i'm admittedly a charmingly outspoken person, i'm afraid i'll make enemies who misunderstand my intentions, which are constructive and well-meaning.
for example, the other day when me, jun yi and alex went to collect our visas, i was already late, but i was later because i couldn't find the chinese embassy, although i've been there before already.
me: *strides to visa hall where junyi and alex are falling asleep* i am obviously late and sorry, but! not as sorry as this sorry embassy! the american embassy is on its left! it has a porch and anti-terrorist guards! the british high commission is on its right! it has lawns and polite security guards! whom i had to ask for directions to the chinese embassy!
friends: keep your voice down!
me: and i walked right past it because it's nothing but a dingy doorway. there is no porch, no lawn, and not even a lobby! there's only a flight of stairs you can't go up because of the freaking queue. it's not just dingy, it's dilapidated.
friends: meishi!!!
me: don't worry, it's 5 syllabi, they won't understand.
friends: meishi do you know you're on chinese soil right now? they shoot people for kidneys!!
me: chinese soil!
friends: yes chinese soil!!
me: no wonder it's so tacky. and the service sucks.
well, i could have been softer, but the service really sucked, let that be said. flying this sunday, hope i make it back. no disrespect to the chinese of course, we all have our own faults. if you have more, it just means you have more room for improvement.
